Tag Archive | current state of mind

In it for the life

I mean this weight loss deal….no matter where and what stage I am constantly thinking / worrying about it.

Today I weighed in at 159 lbs a 1 lb increase form last week which is not ideal but not as bad as I thought because of all the cake from Kutty’s first birthday poarty, pizza, and another house warming party.

So I need to learn to make subtle but healthy changes changes to my diet.

One constant thing I am noticing is the way sleep affects my whole mood and personality.
When I sleep a good 8 hours without any waking up in the middle, I feel fresher and more positive. When I wake up couple of time becaus eof Kutty not sleeping, I wake up cranky .
Yesterday S and me got into a discussion about this and he agreed to sleep with Kutty for 3 nights a week so that I can get the un-interrupted 8 hours. So I slept with Bunny and guess what, I could not slepe for like 2 hours.
I was tossing and turning, thinking of some thing or the other and slept at maybe 12 Am and woke up at 6:30 AM very crabbily.
Not a good start.
But I did get a chance to do puja today which I am pretty happy about.

Also having been following Laura Vanderkam on her blog and she talks about time management, part time work (she says part time work is not really party time) and trying to implement some strategies from her. I mean she has 4 kids and she runs everyday. If she says about time management , I will listen.

The point I am making is, I do not have unlimited time to shave off all my bad eating habits even though I want to exercise 1 hour per day everyday.

I would rather make healthy choices and  play with kids in park rather than eat a whole 2 slices of cake and have to exercise to burn it off.

So need to take healthy eating for life seriously and manage time in order to get the balance in life.

Crappy day

I had a great start to the day with my weight at 165 lbs, a 2 lbs lost from last couple of weeks.

However the rest of the day yesterday is just soo bad.

Bunny is in kindergarten now (like I mentioned in the last post). I got a call from the school front office in the afternoon asking me to stop by as he had an accident in the toilet. To say that I was shocked was an understatement. By accident they meant he wet his pants and I relaxed.

Since its kindergarten and Bunny rarely needs a second pair of dress for daycare, I did not pack any dress for him yesteryear in his bag. So I called them back and asked them to give him a spare dress. And the front desk lady says that he went potty on his pants as he could not reach the bathroom on time . Oh my gosh..I was soo embarrassed.

I went to the school (lucky I ljust work 10 mins away) and found him in the bathroom with poop on his shorts.

On gentle cajoling he said that he raised his hands for going to the bathroom to the teacher and he did go potty in the classroom bathroom but had poopy on his shorts and the teacher asked him to go to the receptionist/front desk.

I was shocked!!!

So he went like that from downstairs to upstairs office by himself , and they called me and he was sitting on the toilet for 15 minutes. I was very very suprised and angry that they did not even try to clean him up or change his clothes.

So today both me and hubby went and talked to his teacher. And she said we don’t clean them up and kind of made it sound like its not my job but the front office and all the front office did was call me. So I asked the teacher what do they do if I was 1 hour away from school…and she just said the front office is good about it..blah blah…

My poor Bunny…I was really really sad.

I do know that in kindergarten they don’t wipe their butts, but this is kind of bad where they don’t even have a spare dress just in case or try to clean him up instead of calling the parents.

Is this where we r headed towards where in they don’t help a 5 year old to clean up and offer shorts when there are no spare shorts available?

I was sad, and angry.

And I came home and broke my glasses.

And then in the dinner time, Bunny again was just being very rude and not listening and I just could not control. He got a very good yelling and I unfortunately had to hit him . No matter how much I control, I just lost my patience.

All these happenings followed by stress at work, 2 kids stress and everything..I just feel like running away from everything.

But I cannot. I woke up today and came to work!

 

Life in bullet points

I have been missing in action for a while now…I do read all my fav blogs ..apologize if I haven’t been able to comment.But here is life as it is:

  • Why is it always that previous years/stage of life sound much better and appealing than the present? For example, when in Masters I would feel Engineering life is soo much fun…and when in Engineering tenth class life is much better (would not say junior college life is good as I hated mine).Is it for me only?
  • Work is like super packed the last couple of weeks, but since 2 days I have reached a nice balance and enjoying the “down” time.
  • Exercise is happening although not so much like I wanted to.I am managing to get in some home exercises from my Jillian Michael’s DVDs and some walks during lunch breaks.
  • I love Jillian Michael’s DVDs. She rocks! I wish I could get her body !!!
  • Weight is however the same…it keeps fluctuating the same 2 lbs…sigh…
  • However dresses fit much nicer.:) Next time I should keep track of inches.
  • Waiting for the weather to warm up and this Saturday it is supposed to be 65  Degrees F in this part of the world; so looking forward to be in the park or play outside with Bunny. Maybe fly a kite…
  • I am obsessed with online shopping. I am just ordering stuff sooo much online and poor husband is worried seeing all the packages coming at different times.
  • I am in loveeeeeeeeeee with this…and on right time I ordered it when it went on a sale. Now I am waiting for this to show up at home so that I can wear it to work…..:) It went back to full price a few hours after I ordered it…Ha…
  • My new obsession is skirts…here is a picture with my fav skirt…comments are welcome ::))(Ignore the sloppy background work ) BTW, Bunny took this photo….my cute photographer..
  • ph_new
  • Did I tell you I am obsessed with online shopping nowadays? I ordered some orange cargos for Bunny…and they are supeerrrrrrrrrr cute.
  • I ordered 2 winter jackets for S, but both were a big flop/…had to return it to store …
  • We went on 2 road trips in the last 1 month. And it was super fun. One was with Bunny’s best friend in class and their parents to the Indianapolis Children’s museum and we super liked it
  • The other one was to Lego Land in Chicago…although the trip was fun because of friends, the lego land was OK.
  • Can’t wait for more summer trips and fun times.
  • I wish Bunny had some friends in our same sub-division so that they can stop by or he can go within a walking distance. The only time in weekdays he interacts with other kids is at school 😦
  • However weekends are super packed meeting friend’s kids or going out with friends. 🙂
  • I loveeeeeeeeeeee cooking so much that I cook sometimes after a grueling stressful day. And it provides me the opportunity to de-stress. Hate the cleaning up part though.
  • A friend’s Mother-in-law came home last weekend and made carrot pickle. And it was delicious.
  • pick
  • I want to move..to a happening city….soon…..but just keeping intact because of S.

Everyday steps….how does yours look?

One of my goals is to be at work by 8:45 AM.Not 9, not 9:15 but at 8:45 AM. ON most days I drop Bunny to preschool and S picks him up in the evening unless I have an early morning meeting. This works for us except for the fact that by the time I reach work , its 9:15ish. And although most people in our section come in a  little late, I just want to slowly cultivate to a habit of being at work by 8:45 AM.

So here is how my working day looks like.

5:40 AM: Alarm rings; Wake up for exercise (although its not everyday, I  am trying to workout early in the morning…trying is the keyword here)

6:00 to 7:00 AM: Alarm rings; Wake up for exercise (although its not everyday, I  am trying to workout early in the morning…trying is the keyword here)

7:00 AM: Finish workout (Hopefully Bunny slept through my workout or else, go back n forth between the hall and bedroom and finally give up and bring him to the hall as well..:L()

7:00 to 8:00 AM: Fiish brush,bath and get ready.Get Bunny ready. Plead /beg/yell with him to finish milk without spilling.Give Bunny bath, oil massage, dress him etc.

8:00 to 8:15 AM: Make breakfast

8:15 to 8:40 AM: Feed him breakfast and eat some myself.

8:45 AM: leave to preschool to drop Bunny.

9:05 AM: leave from preschool reluctantly to work

9:20 Am: Reach work.

9:20 Am to 6:15 PM: At work.Some times later as well….

6:40 PM: Reach home.

6:45 to 7 :45 PM: Play, cook, talk with hubby. Usually hubby also pitches in with cooking and cutting veggies.Play with Bunny as well…although I am noting that nowadays I am not playing much with him. Its more “I am coming Bunny …as soon as I finish XYZ”

7:45 PM to 8:15 PM: Feed Bunny.

8:15 PM: Eat dinner.

8:30 to 9 PM: Cleanup kitchen. Generally make it little cleaner so that people don’t faint seeing the mess.

9 PM: Get Bunny to sleep. Read books together. Either fall asleep with him or just watch some 20 mins TV.

10 PM: Sleep.

 

I am not saying this is always my everyday process. On some days I give up and just sleep in till 7 AM..on some days I don’t cook and hubby pitches in(although this has been the norm the last week).But most days the above is the process.

So tell me dear friends, how can I improve this process to be at work by 8:45?

Is there something I am not good at?

How does your day look like?

Question..

I did Jillian Michaels ‘Ripped in 30’ for 6 days continuously in a row and was feeling good about it.

But…..came the birthday parties along over the weekend.

Had cake the last 3 days in a row.

First is Bunny’s 4th birthday party…cake and pizza .

Next day is his friend’s birthday party and had some amazing food with cake, desert.

Now I have my monthly cycle and cannot do not want to exercise.

I am feeling sooo bloated and heavy.

I hate this time of the month.

Tell me readers, how do you incorporate exercise around this time?

On this Valentine’s day

Today morning I woke up at 5:50 AM to workout for 30 minutes (week 2 of Jillian Michaels “Ripped in 30”). I really am enjoying my morning workouts at home and I was beginning to look forward to these.

I finished brushing, getting dressed and was ready by 6:20 to start the workout. Was sweating and feeling sooooo tired by 6:40 but still have 10 more minutes to go. S woke up and was getting ready to work. He leaves early sometimes as early as 5 AM. Yes….my husband is a very early morning person. But today he is late. So by 6:40, he is ready to leave to work and I have 10 minutes of workout left and I know Bunny does not wake up till 7:15 AM. Bliss isn’t it? I was thinking I can enjoy a calm cup of coffee after my workout, and…..IBoom..I hear a loud cry and a wail.

And it is Bunny, he woke up early. I went to check on him and he was crying and refusing to go back to sleep. To say that I am mad is an understatement.

This guy just refused to sleep and would not come with me so that I can give him milk. After like 15 minutes of soothing he fell asleep finally.

I go back downstairs and do 5 more minutes, and…happens again. He wakes up.

By this time, S very happily left to work.

I had to cut off my workout in the middle and go and sleep next to him.

I am just soo stressed out and generally mad about all this.

So anyways,finally consoled him got him to brush his teeth , gave him milk and he agreed to look at the ‘exercise’ dvd while I am completing my workout. Such a sweetheart!

But , the rest of the morning I was just blaming …well none in particular but was definitely feeling down. I was complaining to myself in my heart how don’t get 30 minutes of alone time to exercise, how its always about the kid, how I am always running either to get Bunny ready for school or running to work or trying to finiosh cooking so that we can have a early dinner in the evenings.

I was complaining to S over the phone. I also shed some tears while driving after dropping Bunny in school.

S consoled me saying we need to be playful while making him do some stuff.

And I come to work, and was generally browsing for a few minutes and I saw this blog post.

http://lovelightlaughterandchocolate.blogspot.com/2012/12/be-with-me-just-for-today.html?spref=fb

And then I cried…at my desk ..in the middle of my cubicle. It just is soo heart wrenching and sad.

I felt soo sad for the author Mom.

Also all of a sudden I felt grateful.

Grateful that I get to spend time with Bunny.

Grateful about the morning rushes and the evening chaos.

I felt foolish complaining in the morning.

I felt extremely thankful about my life.

And on this valentine’s day, I am happy that I have Bunny’s love to shower on us .

Happy Valentine’s day everyone.

About being in love…with workout DVDs

The past 1 week was good (especially the Monday to Friday) as far as  working out and eating healthy is considered.

I did 2 days of Jillian Michaels ‘Ripped in 30’ and was was sore all over.

I did 2 days of Body Attack.

I know I have 3 days of no exercise, but working out was buried in the mounds of housework, cooking and a sick son and hubby.

Both son and hubby were sick last week and I had to ditch the plans to workout and just generally takeover. Usually hubby helps me with a lot of housework. If I cook, he cleans up and loads the dishwasher and keeps the son buy playing with him. I did not realize how much of a help he is until he fell sick and was generally under the weather.

But, both of them are OK now although hubby is still recovering. Thankfully I was a little sick but was back to normal within a week.

I kep telling hubby that its because of the workout and exercises and try to motivate him to workout without much progress. He simply does not exercise at all. Sigh…

But one lesson I learned throughout this 1 week is: working out in the morning is the best option. If I cannot make it to the 5:30 AM Body Attack class, at least I need to wake up at 6 A.M and do the ‘Ripped in 30’ or ’30 day Body Shred’ . All it takes is just 25 minutes and heart is pumping.

Amazing how 20 minutes of workout can make me sweat soo much.

Love Jillian Michaels and love the convenience of 20 minute workouts at home.

The weight remained almost the same although I gained 1 lb since I am back from Singapore :L.

Starting today, I want to target everyday of working out either a 20 minute workout video or a class…does not matter. I want to sweat and feel good. Its amazing how seating during and after the workouts makes me feel sooo happy.